Surviving Your LDR - Tay Meets World

Surviving Your LDR

1:33:00 PM

Hi Sweets!

I hope this Tuesday has been good for you all thus far. I must say, I have a terrible case of college senioritis and it is only getting worse. Not to mention, I am in a long distance relationship (LDR) and we are down to three weeks until we see each other again so I am antsy. Let me start off by telling you folks that I am no expert at relationships, I learn knew things everyday. However, I do feel like I know a thing or two about a long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I have been in an LDR for over six years. We met in high school, yes we are high school sweethearts (cheesy, I know), and now are seniors in college. To shrink the six years into one post it goes a little something like this: girl meets boy, boy and girl date, boy moves away to a soccer school, boy and girl go to different colleges, boy and girl are still together.

Now there are some things I have learned in the six years that we have been together that I think is good for others to know.
1. Trust. You may be thinking well duh!! But I am serious, you need to have trust in any relationship to make it work. Unfortunately, in my first year of college my parents got a divorce due to my father cheating. This freaked me out, and made me look twice about my own relationship. I learned though that my father was not the only one to blame, that my mother was at fault as well,  she equally pushed him in the direction he was already going. I learned that if there is no trust, or you can't trust the one you are with, get out of the relationship for their sake and yours. It is not fair to your partner to punish them for things they didn't do, such as I punished mine for my father cheating. We obviously worked through things and it took some life coaching my end to realize this. The one thing my relationship does have, is trust.

2. Communication. The downside to an LDR is the physical connection can sometimes be hard to find. To replace this lost their needs to be an emotional connection that guides you through the relationship. This all starts with communication. My boyfriend and I talk all the time, we text, talk on the phone, and Skype as much or even as little as we need to. He is still the person I go to whenever I need "my person." An LDR is established over good communication, it takes a lot of work but you have to be honest, upfront, and willing to understand and listen to your partner.

3. Intimacy. This is where things can get tricky but not completely impossible. Regular relationships have both the intimate and the emotional aspects whereas LDR's have a lot of emotional. Spice up your LDR with intimacy. Plan weekend getaways, set aside time for a flirty Skype date, and even talk about the future. Having things to look forward to in your LDR is the one thing that will propel your relationship to get to that point.

4. Friendship. My boyfriend and I didn't start out as friends and then date, we went straight to the dating so we had to establish a friendship along the way. This is my favorite part of our relationship and I think he will say the same. Whenever we are in a time of crisis or need to vent, we call each other. I am his person and he is mine. We share our deepest secrets and we laugh at all our inside jokes. There is something so special about calling your lover your best friend but it is really a true thing. He understands me better than any of my girlfriends do or would and we do the best to not judge. I can't even count how many times we have called each other just to say I need my person right now, and then we lend our ears. It is important to have a friendship quality aspect in an LDR because unfortunately you can't have that close contact with them so a friendship is one way to get you through.

These are just a few things that I learned in my own relationship and I am always learning more so I will definitely keep you posted on what other knowledge I may acquire. I am in a point in my life where I am restless to be done with school and itching to be with my boyfriend with no states in between us. I have to remember to take a step back and appreciate what we have and what we have been through, it's what makes our relationship what it is today and that is something pretty darn special.

Any other things you guys have learned in your LDR or relationship? Please share!!


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