Hey Sweets!

I hope you all had a spectacular weekend. The way I think of it, even though it is Monday, we are one more week down until summer, woohoo!
Over this weekend I got to thinking a lot about relationships, don't ask me why, but it resulted in a lot of sappy movie watching. I noticed one thing: a lot of relationships fall apart. I hear all the time from men that women are "oh so complicated" and they can't figure us out.  I personally think that is a load of horse crap. Lately, I have been joking with my boyfriend whenever we fight or bicker that he needs to go buy a Women's 411 handbook to understand me more…he says I need to do the same, for men that is. I started searching the web for a relationship guide, a sort of "how to" for men that could help them understand women more. I looked everywhere and simply could not find a handbook that outlined the basic principles of the female sex, so I decided to write my own. Here's the deal, I know for a fact not a lot of men read this blog, so ladies, show your lovers, your boyfriends, your husbands, your misters…do whatever you need to do to give them the low-down.

I thought I would start a series on simplifying the woman for men to understand. I know, not all women are the same but about 98% of us want the same thing, and that my friends, is love. Chessy, but true…why do you think we drag you men to chick flicks every other weekend? It is simply not because we just want to see the hot male actor (although that is one reason) but it is our dying wish that you will miraculously mold into this enchanting, prince-charming, i-will-do-anything-for-you, kind of guy.
The first thing you gentlemen should know is that women are SIMPLE. Ha, ha laugh all you want but it is true. Here are some examples:

1. We want, no, we need, sentimental gifts. It's not that hard boys, go to the store buy some clearanced flowers that will die in two days and boom! Another idea that doesn't involve money is to have a night dedicated to watching romantic comedies and cuddling, and you could even cook dinner ;).

If there is one thing I have learned in all the relationships that I have seen in my life, it is that women these days need lovin'. We need to feel cared about and cherished…it's just that simple.

2. If I hint at wanting ice cream, I want ice cream. Or any food that is…but if I say, "boy, Chinese sounds so good," then we better be getting Chinese. This sounds selfish but you must learn that we will return the favor. I am more than happy to go on a taco run for you at 11 p.m. at night if you let me eat Chinese all weekend…catch my drift?

3. Aunt flow from Red Cloud will visit monthly and when she does it is smart to amp up the volume on sweets in the house (or any food that I love) and appreciate us even more during that time. Gentlemen, also beware…stay at a safe enough distance and try to stay out of trouble, it will only help your cause during this week.

4. When I tell you to leave me alone or give me space, listen. Don't get upset that we said this or need this, either you caused the anger or it is some other emotional issue and we are taking our frustrations out on you, but it is easier to just listen and go watch ESPN in the other room.

5. Always know that we take things to heart. I can guarantee you that in my relationship if my boyfriend has ever said anything he didn't mean (it was a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing) I will remember it forever and so will most other women. I understand that we say crappy things too but I can tell you from experience that if you think about what you are about to say before you say it, it may save a lot of heartache.
Example:
Woman: Can you pass the cookies?
Man: You want another one?
Woman: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?? YOU JERK!!

These are just some basic principles on the guide to the female gender. Again, I am no expert on relationships but I do like to pretend I am Carrie Bradshaw sometimes…she is so fabulous and don't get me started about the shoes. I can only imagine a male reading this and thinking this is crazy talk, so here is my challenge: Men, I am equally sure that women would like to know a little more about you and what goes on in your mind, so whoever wants to write a Men's 411 Handbook for women that would be very helpful. It would also save us loads of heartache and junk food eating. Until next time.

Sincerely,
The Simple Taylor