ESPN Is Ruining My Relationship
8:04:00 AMLet me start off by stating that I don't hate sports. I love athletics actually, in my apartment the biggest athletic contenders we watch or talk about are soccer, golf, and basketball (sorry football people, I date a soccer player…those two don't mix). I also want to say that I am not one of those girls that pretends to like sports; there are some that I enjoy and others that I do not.
Here is what I think: ESPN is ruining my relationship, slowly, like slower than a turtle walks. It takes away from "family time" and takes the attention aways from me, and who wants that? I decided to take it upon myself and write them a letter (that I will never send).
Dear ESPN (es-pen):
I can't compete with you. One click of the power switch on the TV remote and there are hundreds of options you offer. I can't offer that many options…not even for dinner. From golf to swimming, you have such a wide variety for men and boys to enjoy, women also. We watch a lot of golf at my place... the sad part, I enjoyed watching the PGA tournament. It also helps that you offer good looking athletes, but that's beside the point.
When you are on, I can't get my bf's attention. It's like talking to a wall…you capture his brain and show him want he wants to see…sports. At least on other channels there are commercials, he normally stops zoning during commercials…do you even have commercials? If you do, please make them less enticing so I am able to make a grocery list in less than an hour this week.
Now that football is starting you are going to have a field day with couples. Are you happy you come between so many relationships? Now, don't get me wrong, I am getting really sick of you, but I also want to thank you. When you are on the TV, I can go and do whatever I want. I can even watch Netflix in my closet, or organize my office. You really are a lifesaver sometimes. I don't think it is good for my relationship if I use you as a poker chip…raising the bet every time I want to start another DIY project…but who cares. I do have to thank you again however; for all those times it took me too long to get ready because I was having a clothing fit…I thank you for offering some entertainment to my bf. I do wish you would offer more interesting things to watch. Like this acrobatic pole dancing…guys would love it and women would sit there with their jaws to the floor trying to figure out how to learn it.
Sincerely,
Taylor
P.S. My boyfriend gave me the idea for this blog post, so he obviously knows the effect you have on him.
3 comments
Hahaha I don’t think you’re alone with this one! ESPN gets all the male attention!
ReplyDeleteHaha love this! I recently wrote a post on how your SO changes during football season, so I can totally relate. My boyfriend is OBSESSED with football. When fall rolls around, say goodbye to our Sundays. I don't even know if learning pole dancing would help. lol
ReplyDeleteXo,
Tay
acupoftay.com
You're probably right!! It is crazy how they zone into sports like really? I don't know if i'll ever understand!!
ReplyDelete