I have been doing a bit of soul searching lately…it's one of those things where I'm stumbling around a bit, crying, laughing, sobbing, wishing, praying, looking; trying to find my place in life. I also know that I am not alone. Quite a few of my friends are going through the same thing and I can't help but wonder how we get in these positions in the first place? Why do we feel lost? Why do we long to feel appreciated and accepted by others? Why don't we try to please ourselves first? Why, in times of trouble do we run to the comfort in our lives rather than spread our wings and find our own comfort?

Here's what I've learned so far:
// We all make mistakes.
// We fall in love.
// We fall out of love.
// We find our passion.
// We find the beauty the world has to offer.
// We long for more in life.
// We seek adventure.
// We meet people who change everything.
// We learn to trust.
// We don't trust.
// We fail.
// We are unsuccessful.
// We try and try and when that fails we try some more.
// We love unconditionally.
// We get scared.
// We are afraid of risks.
// We are beautiful.
// We are just as beautiful as the beautiful person next to us.
// We deserve to be a priority. The number one priority.
// We pray to give us hope.
// We meet new people who inspire us.
// We lose loved ones.
// We seek a new career.
// We lose the career we have.
// We learn what loss is.
// We long to feel something…something so strong.
// We aim to please.
// We fail at pleasing ourselves.
// We deserve to love ourselves.
// We deserve to be loved unconditionally, flaws and all.
// We deserve to be surrounded by people who support our every move.
// We are human. We make mistakes. We seek new adventures. And that my friends is OKAY.

I by no means practice what I preach but I am definitely trying to. I am trying to appreciate myself and appreciate where I am in life. My mother has always said I have an old soul, and I think she's right. At work, I am the girl who would rather talk to the "older" generations (I say this nicely) rather than people my age. At home, I am more content by myself than going out to the bars…school was the same thing. Being an "old soul" I have definitely had my self esteem issues…older people don't judge as much, they are nicer, more accepting (at least that's what I think). I hate feeling like I have to compete with the girl next to me. But why do I feel like this? Why do you feel like that?

It's not fun to feel like the "duff:" dumb, ugly, fat, friend…we have all been there, don't deny it. Well, I am putting a kibosh to that. I don't want to always long for that acceptance of others, I need to accept myself. There will be people, along the way, that will also accept you…and those are the people that I want in my life. I look at all the friends I have; here in South Dakota, in other states, over the internet…and all I have to say is I am so blessed to be gifted with beautiful and kind friends such as you.

We are not "duffs," we are important. We are smart. We matter. Just as much as that "popular girl," that always appears in some aspect of your life. It's not always easy to remember this, and sometimes you need someone to remind you. Hopefully, this post can be that reminder to you.

You are beautiful. You are smart. You are important. You are you and that is the best thing in the world.