The past few years my career has been on the forefront of my life. I live to work, I love my job, I love what I do. If I'm not working towards achieving something than I have this fear of living a stagnant, unprecedented life. I'm the gal that has no problem starting early and working late. I catch up on weeknights and get ahead on the weekends. I was raised to have a strong work ethic and well, it definitely stuck with me. It stuck with me so much that I realized (finally) that what I was giving and putting in was only giving me agony and turmoil.

We aren't taught that leaving your job is OK. We are taught that you must have a career, you must always be working towards something, you can't job hop, you need to work for the same company for at least 10 years, but you also must LOVE what you do. This is a tricky equation because in my experience, it takes time and a great deal of trial & error to really determine what your purpose is and how to live out that purpose. 

Last year, I started the year in overdrive. I was managing nine event venues, 100 or so employees, while trying to ensure sales were met and training was implemented and followed. It was a big task - I loved it. It was the challenge I needed. It wasn't until I had to close some of those venues and start doing things that morally, I didn't agree with, that I started hearing the voice. 

Things started to go awry in May 2019. Up until the end of last year it only started to implode further. I had to fire people...so many people. I had to talk to hundreds of clients on the phone and tell them I had no other options for them except the one I was offering. I was living a nightmare. I easily worked 80-90 hour weeks - travelled every other week - and my name and title became slandered to the consequences of the fallout of the company I worked for. I was really hearing the voice now, but I still felt like I couldn't leave. 

After my trip to Europe (or mini sabbatical I call it), all of my colleagues and superiors were let go. I was living another nightmare. Those were my people, they were the only reason I had stayed as long as I did. Despite this, I still stayed. I actively started my search for something different as I knew I was kept on temporarily. It wasn't until a couple of months later when I found myself saying and teaching things that I myself didn't believe that I knew things had to change. That's when the voice finally said,"Taylor, it's now or never - you need to leave." 

So I did. 

It's hard people. I'm not preaching to you that you should up and quit your job. But I am preaching to you that you shouldn't stay in a career that puts into question your intentions, your morals and values just to collect a paycheck. You don't love what you do? Find something else. Why are we so scared to "job hop?" In my opinion, trying different roles is what helps you learn and grow in your career even further. Recruiters and HR teams are changing the trajectory of how they hire too - instead of looking at your multiple roles, they are looking at what you offer and your depth of knowledge. That is how it should be. 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - life is too short. Life is too short to live a life that you hate. We hold the power to make changes, sure, those changes are terrifying but they can also be very gratifying. I'm still scared; scared that I won't be able to make something of my business, of myself, or find that career that I so long for. I would rather be scared and put in more work than re-live what I endured last year. It takes time to find your "why," - your purpose in life. You know, the thing that sets your soul on fire. It gives you hustle that you never thought you had - it doesn't feel like work. It's your passion...your purpose. 

I found myself dealing with all of the following: I was stressed. I "hated" my life. I barely slept. I worked until 1 or 2am and started again at 7am. I didn't have an appetite and the only thing to take my mind of work was to run (the whole fight or flight thing...I chose flight). I cried multiple times a week and had no desire to do anything that I loved. I started to resent those close to me...I started to resent "happy" people. I needed to leave my job, so I did. 

Want to know what came after? 

Relief. 

Sure, I had (still have) a battle ahead of me. Getting business off the ground or finding my niche career, achieving financial security, etc., but none of that compared to the huge sense of relief that I felt. I told myself, if I can get through that - all that I endured last year - then I can surely get through anything that I face now and in the future; and you can too. 

Evaluate your situation. Evaluate your finances. Evaluate your level of happiness and contentment. If you are leading a life of discontentment and find yourself depressed than something needs to change - but only you hold the power to make that change. ❤️

Taking a risk is not easy - trust me, I get it. But what we fail to acknowledge is that on the other side of fear - could be relief...could be pure joy...could be love...could be our purpose. If you don't take the risk, how will you ever know? What if the biggest risk to take is not taking one?