How To Come Back From Rejection - Tay Meets World

How To Come Back From Rejection

1:11:00 PM

No one likes rejection. It's a kick in the gut, a slap in the face - maybe something you thought you wanted so bad and now it feels like failure. We're wired to believe that rejection is a bad thing. So, when it happens we feel ashamed, upset, depressed, confused, etc., etc., etc. Re-wiring your brain to look at rejection differently is no easy task, in fact, most people never get to that point. There's no doubt, that when I'm "rejected," whether it be from a job, a business proposal, a relationship or friend that I don't wallow in self-pity for the rest of the night because I most certainly do. I have, however, realized that rejection is simply redirection - it just wasn't meant to be. In fact, it was the universe safeguarding me from what could've been a very not-so-good thing.

So what do I do? I keep trying. I keep putting myself out there. I try another door or avenue just something that will lead me down another path because the option of giving just not an option.
It took me about a year to get to this mindset. I would keep finding myself in situations where I would cry out "Why!? Why me?!" and hope that things would change. Not to spoil the story here, but they never did change. They didn't change until I started realizing two things: 
  1. I have to love me enough, to know my worth and value and not let anything deter that. 
  2. Knowing, and acknowledging my worth and value is the only thing that will keep me progressing forward because no one else will do it for me.
If I let every rejection email, phone call (or blatant silence), bad date, no response, etc., get to me - I would stop. I would stop trying, I wouldn't put myself out there and I would let the fear of continuing to be rejected take over and control the decisions I make. What I've learned is that rejection is only the universe saying "Nope, not that one!" Yes, it absolutely sucks being rejected, but you cannot stop trying. It's when you stop trying - when you give up - that you fail. 

Let's look at an example here: I have applied for more jobs than I care to keep track of, no seriously, I stopped keeping track because the number haunted me. I need something to supplement what I am currently doing. I can't even tell you how many emails I've gotten that state, "We're sorry, we went with another candidate that was a better fit." Heck, I can barely get an interview - I haven't gotten one single interview. I spent hours alone over the weekend re-working my cover letter and resume for a position that I want so bad, it's the type of position I know I would be successful at. Will I get it? The realist (and slight pessimist) in me says no. The optimist in me is holding out hope. If I don't get it, that doesn't mean I stop applying. It doesn't mean I am any less worthy of another position. And who knows, maybe the next opportunity that comes along is even more amazing than this one. At some point in time, the ball will drop. Things will change - they have to change as the world runs on continuous adversity and change. 
The same goes for relationships. Does a failed relationship or bad date mean you are not worthy of love? Does it mean that you are not worthy of another relationship? Absolutely not. It hurts getting our heart broken, but when you start thinking that the rejection you faced was really a redirection from above...your entire mindset will be shifted

When you know your value. When you acknowledge your worth. When you accept and love yourself for all that you are. That is when you allow yourself to be the person that picks you up from a door slammed in your face. That person (you) will push yourself in the other direction. To try and open another door, and they will be there for you when it happens again, because it most certainly will. 

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