Over the weekend, I had a bird in my basement. How the bird got there is beyond me but I must preface with this house was built in the 1800's...I digress. The attempted rescue and evacuation mission to de-bird my home was exhausting and took over a day. You'd think it would be as easy as opening a window or door in the basement - wrong! I'm going to let you in on a little secret - I'm 100% an animal activist and would go lengths to save ducks, squirrels, birds, etc. With that being said, I don't necessarily want to touch all of those animals and the thought of one flying at my head is not pleasing. Where is this leading me? Well, I undoubtedly had a significant panic attack all while dressed in pineapple shorts, wellies, a neon winter hat, and gardening gloves trying to corner and catch the bird. It was one of those you laugh so hard you cry...or you cry so hard you laugh.
It's in those moments where the only thought in my head is "I wish I had a man in my life to take care of this."
Writing that statement made me tear up because it's sad, right? I recall a moment while attempting to catch the bird of myself saying, "I can do this, I don't need a man, I can totally do this!" And I don't. I'm in a place where I've had to navigate so many things that other women call their dad for, or their husband/fiancé/boyfriend handles. When my parents got divorced my mom and I had a huge learning curve trying to figure out all the "outdoor-things" that my dad handled. Before you use any judgmental thinking, rationalize this for me: if you blew a tire, who would you call? Who mostly does the yard work? If you had a pest or animal problem, who would take care of it? If your water heater went out, what would do? Did you remember to change your air filter or did your dad/husband/fiancé/boyfriend do it? What about a dishwasher leak or broken toilet?
95% of you would probably reference some man.
Then there's the rest of us, those who lack a father-figure or their father has passed, those who are single, those who have a husband who works long days/nights/weekends or is in the army, etc., and those that are widowed or divorced.
We've had to figure it out ourselves. While I'm so grateful I have a whole new book of knowledge on how to take care of any task around the house that comes my way, sometimes...just sometimes, it would be nice to have someone else take care of it. (*insert bird removal here*)
So how do you get comfortable with this? How do you get comfortable with being single? How do you become comfortable facing the tasks that you have never been equipped to handle?
Truth, there is no magic wand. There is no crystal ball, there is no motivational speech I can give that will instantaneously give you all the courage and confidence in the world...forever. What I can give you is this: once you do one thing, you can do anything.
I bought a house by myself, I've repaired a toilet by myself, I installed a water spigot by myself, I do all the yard work by myself, I've gotten a bird out of the house by myself, I've fixed many things here and there around the house, and am always the one to haggle with the auto repair shop so they don't rip me off for the things I don't need.
When you are in a place where you don't think you can do it - remind yourself all that you HAVE done. That is when you start to find comfort.
When you realize that you don't NEED a man in your life...you are able to fully live YOUR best life. It's when you realize that "need" is actually a WANT that you are then able to accomplish the tasks you've never had to accomplish before, to live and care for you, and will then be able to find someone that adds to your already fruitful and fulfilled life.
Getting to that place is a journey my friends. I still have moments of "why can't a man just freaking take care of this?" Once I pull my head out of the clouds and take care of what needs to be done...I feel so incredibly accomplished because I did it...all by myself.
How many of you can truly look at your life and know that you can do anything?! I will tell you, this feeling is unmatched. I look at where I've been, what I've done, and where I'm going and 100% know that I will be able to handle anything that comes my way. This feeling has also transgressed into dating - I don't need anyone to fulfill a missing part of my life. Sure, I want that for my future-self but I know that in my day-to-day I can take care of everything I need to, without the help of someone else.
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