Tay Meets World: May 2020

Finding Resilience

This week for the 90 Day Challenge (follow along here), we are discussing resilience. What is resilience? Webster Dictionary states that resilience is "the capacity to recover from difficulties quickly." This week's lesson couldn't have come at a better time. In full transparency, the past week and a half has been hard. So freaking hard. I'm stressed mentally, financially, relationship-wise, etc., etc., etc. We are all dealing with something during this time, something that we most likely never thought we would be dealing with. I've gotten to the point where I've just shut down (thus the lengthy post writing about it). It's easier to put my head down, pray, stick to my routine, and not make any official decisions...to just, exist.

I get caught in the comparison trap - those who have a steady job, a husband, babies, building their dream home, blah, blah - I long for that life so badly. I long for someone to share life with, I long to have a family, I long to accomplish something great. At the same time, I'm thankful for what I have and where I'm at, I still get to do things my way...and for me - it's a double-edged sword.

At the end of the day however, life isn't about "existing," it's about living. Living your best life (which, if you know me, is 100% how I live my life) is hard to do when you are quarantined to your home. I've tried to figure out how I can still live/enjoy life/exist with grace while stuck at home...and while I don't have the best answer I do know that the main thing is that I have to keep moving. I'm not one to sit and let life pass by, so I do what I know and I plan for what I feel is the best path I can take.

Resilience, is like sanding back up after you've been punched in the face. I tried to remember the last time I felt this way...the last time I truly had to embody resilience. A couple of life moments came into my head - I then thought of how far I have come since those moments. That life in review, was quite humbling. You see, I bet all of you have had a "life punched you in the face" moment - what did you do after that? Certainly didn't surrender - otherwise you wouldn't be here right now, reading this. I thought to myself...if I can make it through those things, then I can make it through this. And if I can make it through this, then I know there is a brighter side once all of this is over. Do I know what is included in that "brighter side?" 100% no. The unknown is something I do not deal well with. I can handle all the change you through my way - if I have the capacity to make a plan.

So, I've decided to further my education - I've decided to look forward to the job opportunity I have in December - I've decided I'm going to keep putting myself out there - I've decided I'm going to do what I know and use what I have to make the best of this situation. The punches keep going, I was met with rejection last week, three times. (Rejection, even for those who are used to it and come back stronger from it, still sucks.) If I surrender, then I'm not fulfilling the life I set out to live. If you surrender, then what life are you living?

Things will not go back to normal. We are in a time of ever-evolving adversity and we must work to establish a new normal. I've vowed to ensure this new normal is met with living intentional, living with grace in my heart and kindness in my soul. Getting comfortable with this adversity, the unknown, is far from easy. I've found peace in taking things hour-by-hour, day-by-day and

sometimes, even task-by-task - and then I remind myself.

I remind myself of all that I have to be grateful for.

I remind myself that I am important and worthy.

I remind myself that someday, someone will love me with the kind of love I give.

I remind myself that I possess certain talents, that I can use now to keep going.

I remind myself that someday, I will have a family, however that family may be pieced together.

I remind myself that I must show myself and others, grace.

I remind myself that when I need to cry, it's okay to cry.

I remind myself that when I can't control things, that I need to let go.

I remind myself that things will all be okay - because they will!

You are not alone, and I know I'm not either. I hope this reminds you of all that you are, and all that you can be. Don't just exist - this life and all the people in it, deserve YOU - the you that lives your best life, in any given circumstances. Together, we can get up from being knocked down. Together, we can find resilience. 🤍