So, most of you know that I nanny. I get the privilege of taking my nanny kids to the country club…they truly have wonderful parents who work so hard and with that comes the best privileges. I must say though, life at the country club is exactly what I thought it would be.

To start off, I was really nervous about my first time at this place. I figured I would feel out-of-place and I tend to become really self-conscious at places like these…you will understand why in a bit. In any sorts, my nanny family pays for a membership so obviously it is in the kids' best interest if we use it. 

Once you arrive at the club (parking is very easy to find) you are greeted by a lovely woman in khakis (naturally). Being the virgin I am to country clubs, I order some free waters. I then help the kids with sunscreen, goggles, towels, swim toys etc., and plant my behind on a nice tanning chair (this is only temporary as I must scope out the place, ok it's actually to work up the courage to take my cover-up off). The kids see a bunch of their friends and run off to go play as a 40-something woman with a six-pack and five kids comes and sits in the chair next to me. I nervously look down at my swim cover up and decide that it's ok to leave it on just a wee bit longer. Let me tell you: NO ONE WEARS COVER-UPS. Everyone is flaunting their beautifully sculpted abs, toned arms, and nip and tuck jobs and all the other nannies are showing off their pricey swimwear. It's like I walked into a SAKS 5th Ave pool…pricey and out of my budget. Another thing, there is no one there remotely overweight. I mean, I wouldn't consider myself overweight but I can definitely lose some pounds so this is not a confidence booster. On top of that, I had to naturally eat a small lunch as so I don't get bloated and the sun literally drains everything out of you so you become SO HUNGRY!

Moving on: I eventually work up the courage to quickly take my cover-up off and work my way to the pool to watch the kids. Thankfully, they like it when I am in the pool playing so my love handles are hidden beneath the chlorinated water. I must add, the lifeguards here are no ordinary lifeguards. The female life guards can actually wear two-piece guard suits where the rest of the town wears a one piece. This only adds to my anxiety because along with the very fit 30+ year olds and the skinny nannies, the life guards also look like they were born from a fitness center. Not only that, every one who attends the country club is just good-looking. There is not a pimple or cellulite in sight. It's almost like the beautiful people are filtered out from the rest. On one occasion, we were entering hour two at the pool and I was feeling ok about things. That is until a beautiful bleach blonde woman comes and sits down one chair away from me. She takes her cover-up off right away and who wouldn't have thought…a body builder. I am not joking, a full-blown, no fat, only muscle, dark bronze, bleach blonde, female, body builder. (Props to those who do this) My heart skipped a beat because at that moment, my dirty blonde/brown, once pasty white-skin (now burnt red), flabby love handle, inner-thigh fat body looked worse than ever! I will say she took the attention from me for a bit as most people couldn't get over her tone-ness, but still, it was a horrific moment.

I can honestly see why people enjoy this place, everyone knows everyone, it's private, well-kept, and the kids have a great place to play. I must also note that it is a privilege to attend a place such as this; I am in that time of my life where paycheck to paycheck living is the norm and the closest thing to a country club is my Kate Spade handbag….I had to save up months for that puppy, but I am very thankful I had the oppotunity to go.

Do I fit in? No!

Do I try to act like I do? Absolutely!

Do I look at my stomach every five minutes to make sure it's sucked in enough? Yep.

Do people stare like they can see right through my façade? Heck yes.

Someday I wish to be successful enough to treat my family to such a prestigious and private opportunity. Until then, I will stick with swimming in my bathtub.