Marriage DOES Work - Tay Meets World

Marriage DOES Work

10:18:00 AM

Have you read this article? If you haven't, go read it quick then come back.

I should probably start off by saying that I am not married, nor have I ever been, and I am the child of divorced parents, grandchild of divorced grandparents, niece of divorced aunt/uncle,  cousin of divorced cousins, and family friend of divorced family friends. Divorce is something that is very common in my life and I'm in no way immune to it.

Anthony D'Ambrosio states five reasons as to why marriage doesn't work. Here are his reasonings:
1 // Sex becomes almost non-existent.
2 // Finances cripple us.
3 // We're more connected than ever, but completely disconnected at the same time.
4 // Our desire for attention outweighs our desire to be loved.
5 // Social media just invited a few thousand people into bed with you.

I will say I understand some of his reasonings and they can definitely be issues that lead to divorce in our generation today…but when did we all of the sudden jump the gun and stop believing in marriage altogether?

Did we not elect our last President who had a campaign slogan of "HOPE?"

Why are we not hopeful that marriage will work? Um, FYI, there are thousands of marriages that do work

Yes, the divorce rate is over 50%…in my family and circle of friends, the divorce rate is even higher, but there is one thing I have that the poor guy who wrote that article doesn't have: hope. Hope that marriage can, and will happen for me and everyone around me. Also, hope that marriage will work…for me, and everyone around me.

I grew up watching Cinderella, Pocohantas, Beauty & The Beast, etc., and believing 100% that those fairytales can happen. I want to believe that there is a prince charming for every princess and vice versa. Is that naive of me? NO!
Just because divorce has plagued my family why should I be lead to believe that it will happen to me? 

Here's the thing, marriage DOES work. People make it work every day. Here's another thing, marriage TAKES work. You can't expect things to fix themselves, because they won't. My response to Anthony looks like this:
1 // If sex is non-existent, make it existent!
2 // If you are feeling financial woes, pick up another job, spend less, budget, take a finacial budgeting class together, do things that are free. There are things you can do to fix financial woes.
3 //  Put down the phone, laptop, tablet…make time for each other. Even if you designate and hour before bed each night to "disconnect from social media," you are still giving one another an hour…and that is time well spent.
4 // If you have such a strong desire for attention maybe it's because you aren't getting any. Give your spouse/bf/gf/friend the attention they deserve. Take them to lunch, set aside alone time, buy them a gift, write them letters, do something for them…and don't expect anything in return. Do something for them because you want to not because you feel like you have to. Maybe then, their attention seeking will dwindle because they feel loved.
5 // Like I said before…disconnect from the world an hour or more before bed. Make time for each other without social media hovering around you.

Here in America we are excellent at making excuses. Stop making excuses for all the reasons in this article and start believing that good things (like happy marriages) actually do happen, and cheers to those people that are making it happen every day. 

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  1. this is beautiful and i agree! i love #5- we have been doing this and it's been wonderful. we usually talk or watch parenthood on our laptop in bed - disconnecting from the world of technology for a bit is so important! i am really glad that you shared this!

  2. This is just so well said! I feel like marriage only works if you actually want it to. It's not supposed to be easy, you are going to change over time -so will your spouse. You have to be willing to bend and work together because it ain't all rainbows and unicorns all the time...sometimes there are ugly little gargoyles that pop in.

  3. I completely agree with you! My fiance and I discussed all those things and more before getting married because of such high divorce rates. While it may be harsh, I feel like those reasons and criticisms are just ways of being lazy!

    jess | Bows & Bouquets

  4. Tried to comment on this earlier from my phone & no luck. This is one of my favorite posts this week- it hits the nail on the head. I'm not married yet but know it will take work if we do decide to go down that road. All relationships take work. My parents have been married for 31 years; I know it can happen.

  5. Well I have been married to Tim for 31 years this September and my parents have been married for 55 years this November so I know marriage works and it takes a lot of work

  6. I love this. As the child of divorce I can't wait to marry Bryan someday and work through everything that life throws at us together. Some marriages don't work out, sure, but I see far too many people that throw excuses out instead of putting in the effort (this applies to way more than just marriage). Marriage and love isn't a fairy tale where everything will be butterflies and roses forever, it shouldn't be hard either (that is a bad sign as well), but it is challenging. Just like all good things in life you have to put in some effort.